Sex in the City 2

Oh this was bad. So. Bad. And so long! I would have been impressed that such a thin plot could have been stretched our 2 hours and 45 minutes if it weren't for the fact that I had to sit through it. Does anyone remember the beginning of the series? Sex in the City was groundbreaking in the way it presented women speaking frankly and honestly about their sexuality. We had a television show featuring thirty-something single women whose only goals didn't revolve around marriage and babies. It was smart, funny, and bold. The fashion and cocktails were just a bonus. By the end of the series, fashion and cocktails was all that was left. And now we're on to the second movie- a mess with no humor, no intelligence, and no plot.

Watching Sex in the City 2 was like watching several episodes of a tv show that only barely relate to each other. The movie begins at the wedding of two male characters. The wedding s over the top as can only be done in a big budget film. There is an all gay male choir, there are swans, there is Liza Minelli performing "Single Ladies." I'm not sure what the point of this long, drawn out affair was except maybe to to pack in as many gay stereotypes into one scene as possible. From there, the plot structure focuses on the separate stories of Miranda, Charlotte, Samantha, and Carrie. Miranda hates her job and never gets to see her son or husband. Samantha is trying to cure menopause so as not to lose her supernatural libido. Charlotte has the perfect nanny except that she doesn't wear a bra. And Carrie needs to go out every night lest she feel that she and Big are an old married couple. That or maybe she just hates it when anyone would rather pay attention to the television than to her.

Samantha decides to take the four of them on a PR trip to Abu Dhabi because she's tired of the poor economy and wants to go somewhere rich. She says this after they attended a ridiculously elaborate wedding that had to have cost a mil and after they attended a big movie premier. F--- you, Samantha. So, they go to Abu Dhabi, insult the culture, buy shoes and alcohol, and sing the worst possible rendition of "I Am Woman." 

There is a lot wrong about Sex in the City 2. Let's start with the dialogue. For some reason, everyone talks like Cosmopolitan magazine reads. Whoever wrote the script mistook hideous puns and word play worthy of a dirty Laffy Taffy wrapper for wit. An example is "Lawrence of my labia." Carrie has always had a weird penchant for puns, but it seems everyone adopts the habit for this movie. It's embarrassing in the way watching that friend who wrongly thinks he's hilarious is. The script was a mess in general. Scenes and side characters led nowhere. The entire first half hour could have been cut out since it didn't relate to the rest of the film. There was no central storyline. I remember waiting for a central conflict and it never came. In fact, there was really no conflict to speak of. We basically watched these women go on vacation. The one thing that surprised me most about the movie was how boring it was.

Lastly, Sex in the City 2 was offensive. There is a lot going on that could potentially offend. I think most people who were going to be offended by the treatement of Abu Dhabi culture got that out of their systems while the trailers were airing. But there is also the plethora of gay stereotypes thoughout the movie. Samantha calls her effeminate butler Paula. His name is Abdul. There is also the tacky timing of the extravagences. Don't wear the same designer dress as a celebrity and then complain about the economy.

So, lets see if I covered everything. Cheesy dialogue - check. Lack of any plot - check. Ridiculously long run time - check. Offensive to many, many people - check. Yep, I thnk I can safetly say that this was a really bad movie.