Robin Hood

Did we need another Robin Hood movie? Ridley Scott thought we did. In fairness, it's been 19 years since Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, the last serious Robin Hood adaptation. It's been 17 years since any Robin Hood movie at all (Robin Hood: Men in Tights being the last). But it's a story that most people know pretty well. It's a story of a man that robs from the rich to give to the poor, all the while causing headaches for the Sheriff of Nottingham and King John, and vying for the hand of the lovely Maid Marion. See? I can recite that from memory without having seen Scott's Robin Hood. After all, I've seen Disney's Robin Hood, and I've seen Errol Flynn's The Adventures of Robin Hood. In fact, Robin Hood has been portrayed on either the silver screen or the television screen over 110 times, which I'd imagine has to be more than just about any other character. So when the trailer promised us the "untold story" of the legend, I was a bit skeptical. I think it's safe to say that we've seen this story told in almost every way imaginable. I was mistaken, however. I had failed to realize that the story hadn't been told in such a boring fashion yet.

Suggestion Box #11: Prince of Persia

Arguing With Idiots by Glenn Beck

Getting through this book was a chore, and it’s not even that long. The whole thing weighs in at nearly exactly 300 full color cartoon and graph filled pages. Without all that other nonsense, I think it would barely be 200. That was one of the things that made it difficult for me to read, every few paragraphs the narrative is interrupted by some kind of info-graph, quote, or fun fact. Most are meant to be funny, but they fall short and add little or nothing to the discussion. Especially the uninformative graphs and vague statistics. The pages themselves are printed to look aged and dog-eared, I guess to resemble old propaganda. Ironic, since this is a new version of the same old thing. The premise is Glen Beck arguing with himself. One of his selves is dressed in powdered wig and breeches, and the other in a soviet kitschy uniform. My guess is that the latter is the idiot, though it’s hard to be certain. The paragraphs are broken up in a sort of question and answer format, in which silly questions or statements are rebutted with his usual prattle. It’s written in the same annoying rambling way that he talks, which could be soothing to some like white noise. Personally, it makes me grind my teeth.

Suggestion Box #10: Glenn Beck

Iron Man 2

Two summers ago, comic book fans got the Batman movie they had waited decades for in The Dark Knight, and were surprised when Iron Man turned out to be one of the better Marvel Comics adaptations to date. Comic book fans were spoiled. Those movies helped take a genre of movie that had been widely ridiculed during the 1990s and solidified them as both box office draws and legitimately good works of cinema when put into the right director's hands. Those movies helped pave the way for the outstanding comic book adaptations over the past couple of years like Kick-Ass and Watchmen. And they allowed both Marvel and DC Comics to start taking chances with sequels and franchises. Comic book movies are now judged against the bar set by those movies, and Iron Man 2 is no exception. But it's important to temper expectations. If you expect Iron Man 2 to be anything but a drop off from Iron Man, you'll be disappointed.

Just Wright

    Well, this movie was a surprise. I would never have chosen to see this movie if it wasn't for an assignment. So, today, I'm glad that I'm a movie reviewer- for nice little surprises like this one. I'm not even sure I should have liked Sanaa Hamri's Just Wright. It's completely formulaic and has an embarrassing title. Maybe something about the characters and the story resonated with me. Maybe I appreciated the heroine's integrity to herself that remained throughout the film. Maybe this time, I fell for the cheesy, fairytale storyline. Ridiculous title aside, Just Wright was engaging and Queen Latifah was as usual, amazing.

Letters to Juliet

    Alright, Ladies. We've had a rough year so far. Movies marketed to women have been disturbingly terrible all year. I'm talking about lazy writing, two-dimensional characters, and unintelligent storylines. I've sat through comedic relief that consisted of people running into lamp posts and women making walrus-like noises while giving birth. I've watched obnoxiously, self-absorbed women make bad decisions and fall for boring men. There hasn't been an ounce of romance or comedy in the romantic comedies and the last good drama had a catastrophic ending that ruined the rest of the movie. In fact, the movies marketed towards women have been some of the worst movies I've seen this year. I can't say that about Letters to Juliet. I'm not saying that Letters to Juliet was mind-blowingly moving or worth winning any awards. I am saying that it could be woth watching. Compared to the rest of this year's romances, that's saying a lot.

Happy Town

Somehow I can’t get tired of television shows where the plot is carried by a lack of information, and everything is a mystery. Every single episode makes no sense, and the few questions answered only really open the door to more questions. I’m sure it’ll get old eventually, but shows like this are way better than reality shows. Unless they’re super trashy, like Bad Girls Club or Jersey Shore. Those have an addictive quality much like the every episode is a mystery shows, because every episode kind of is a mystery. Anyway, this show’s whole purpose is the fact that there’s something going down in Happy Town, and it’s not happy. How Haplin, Missouri got its nickname is the first mystery, because the whole place is kind of creepy right away. Oh, the residents say they’re happy, and that the town is a wholesome place full of quasi-rural charm that always smells like freshly baked bread, but we know something is up.

Suggestion Box #9: Inglourious Basterds

A Nightmare on Elm Street

When Platinum Dunes redid The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and did it terribly, I didn't care all that much. I was never a huge fan of the original. Likewise, I didn't bother watching The Amityville Horror remake that they did. I was a little more disturbed by how poorly done the Friday the 13th remake was because I actually did enjoy those movies growing up, but they didn't exactly hold a special place in my memory. No, the movie that always scared the pants off of me growing up was A Nightmare on Elm Street. I cherished that movie, and the early entries in the series, because it presented a villain that was altogether terrifying. Jason Vorhees and Michael Myers were unstoppable killing machines, sure. But they were just relentless. They wanted to kill you and be done with it. Not Freddy Krueger. Freddy Krueger wanted to play with you first. He psychologically tortured teenagers before he dispatched of them. And while Jason and Michael were terrifying because you couldn't hurt them... Freddy wasn't even on our plane of reality. To fight him, you had to do it on his turf, where he could manipulate anything to his will. So when Platinum Dunes announced they were remaking A Nightmare on Elm Street, I instinctively cringed. You can mess with Jason all you want. Leave Freddy out of it.

Babies

 
    Babies are cute and squishy. They do silly things like suck on their own toes and babble. It's a pretty natural thing to like babies. I mean, sure, there are some people who don't care for the smells and sounds they make and there are a few scorned toddlers who are resentful of their baby siblings. And sure, there are those who are simply indifferent to babies. But generally, babies are a fairly inoffensive topic. Babies can, however, be an interesting topic. There are so many different aspects to the human experience. Child development is an important one. It's during this stage of our lives when the very beginning of enculturation occurs.When we learn our individual society's values and rules. Just imagine the possibilities of a documentary that follows the first stage of life for a child in four very different parts of the world. Babies doesn't seek out to make any cultural discoveries. Babies doesn't try to educate the masses either. No, Babies is about how babies are cute and squishy.

The Boondocks

This show’s third season was pushed back to the point of nearly driving me insane. First I heard that it was supposed to air in March, which turned into April, and then finally May. The wait was long, but I think it was well worth it. Really each new season is like Christmas because I didn't think it would be renewed from the first season. Since it keeps coming back my biggest fear for the show is that it will stop being awesome, but each season keeps it fresh and funny. The creator, Aaron McGruder, is obviously a well-spring of irreverent comic genius. The world needs more people like him to thwap them about the head and neck with realness.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera

It was by complete chance, a random bit of serendipity, that I heard of this novel. While I was working on my computer, I was vaguely listening to the television in the background. It was on Current, my favorite randomness channel. Airing was a clip from Embedded about musical artist Zee Avi (whose music is pretty great), who was in a book store talking about her favorite books. One of them was The Unbearable Lightness of Being, which she quoted. It was the quote that caught my attention, as it happened to be just the thing to make me feel better at just that moment. So I decided that I needed to read the rest of the book, which was an extremely good idea.

Suggestion Box #8: Lost

Furry Vengeance

    Oh Furry Vengeance, what could I possibly say about you that most people haven't already inferred by watching the trailer? Must I be forced to simply validate what is already known about you? Of course, how harsh can I be? It's not like you were out to be an Oscar winning comedy, were you?  No, you just wanted people to laugh by humiliating a generally well liked actor via a gang of cruel forest creatures while at the same time, spreading a message everyone can agree with. "Let's save the forest or else all the little forest creatures will seek vengeance and you will know their wrath." Oooh that sounds like a B-rated horror flick. Anyway, I think I covered all of the excuses one normally hears for why a movie such as this shouldn't criticized harshly. Mostly that it wasn't trying to be great. Well, Furry Vengeance wasn't great. It wasn't good either.

The Losers

Recently, I was told by a friend of mine that I needed to lighten up and realize that an action movie is just an action movie. He told me that I was taking the fun out of action movies if I expect them to be anything other than guns, explosions, and bad dialogue. In my defense, I don't dislike action movies on principle, just as I don't dislike romantic comedies or horror films or kids movies. I like action movies when they're done well. I dislike them when they're, well, Clash of the Titans. I don't have to worry about defending The Losers. It may not be a perfect movie by any stretch of the imagination, and it's certainly not anything more than a run-of-the-mill action movie. But it's an action movie done the way that an action movie is supposed to be done.

Garden Spells

 People often read to escape into a different world. Garden Spells, written by Sarah Addison Allen, definitely takes you to a different world. Yet, it's still a familiar one--kind of like when you meet someone you swear could pass for an old friend. Maybe, it's because we recognize a world in Garden Spells we thought existed when we were children. There was a time as children when myths and legends were simply fact. We picked up pennies in order to have a lucky day because a rhyme told us we would. For the same reason, we avoided stepping on cracks, lest our mothers suffer back pain. Small towns have their own myths. Often times, these colloquial myths are believed in more strongly. Where I grew up, there was an abandoned two story house filled with old books. No one knew (or remembered, anyway) why this house was just left there in disarray. This was declared at some point as our town's haunted house. It's normal for myths to be created around that which cannot be explained. The real difference between our world and the world of Garden Spells is that in the book, those small town myths are real.

Suggestion Box #7: Jackie Earle Haley

Death at a Funeral (2010)

To be fair to Death at a Funeral, I was already familiar with the 2007 British version that spawned Neil LaBute's re-imagining. It's not an groundbreaking movie, but it's a smart and swift comedy that deftly accomplishes its mission. It does it with the sort of subtlety that one expects from a British comedy. The remake does an equally admirable job, but it goes about it in a different way. LaBute's Death at a Funeral is not smart or subtle. It's a very American comedy. It bucks witty dialogue for sight gags and slapstick. That's not a criticism. Death at a Funeral remains a fairly solid comedy despite a significant change in the tone of the film. It's surprisingly faithful to the original given the three-year disparity in their releases, but while dialogue carries the original, character performances carries the second.